User:Webb/Server Verification

Server Verification is a feature that allows servers to gain players, fortune, and fame without work or effort by feeding their servers to one of Satan's minions, named Veri. Servers must follow a set of guidelines in order to do so.

History

Before the launch of TF2C on Steam, a former lead developer named NitoAndTheFunkyBunch was in a conundrum. He didn't have $100 for the Steam developer fee to publish the game, and in a desperate attempt to raise funds made a deal with the devil. In exchange for feeding servers and their souls to one of his hungry minions named Veri, he would receive the funds needed and would grant any fed server infinite fortune and fame.

Unfortunately, Veri's digestive tract needs devilish servers in order to avoid bouts of IBS. This lead to the Server Verification system, which outlined devilish guidelines to ensure he doesn't shit his pants. This included requiring servers to be woke, have a server population of at least 75% furry and/or queer people, and to violate the first amendment rights of their players. This is due to the Americans with Disability Act (ADA.) All servers would be required to follow these guidelines.

While this worked fine at first, Jesus (the biblical one) came back to Earth to criticise Eminoma for this system due to it being Satanic, as he was pissed he couldn't play the game anymore. Many missionaries would hear his message and relentlessly spray holy water all over various verified TF2C servers.

Veri would experience IBS attacks due to this. Eventually Boba, one of the current lead devs, would have enough of Veri hogging the toilet at Eminoma HQ and tried to kick Veri out. However, as the game grew and many more servers would be created, Veri gained weight. He wasn't able to fit through the front door due to his size. This left Eminoma legally liable for Veri. Until he loses enough weight to fit through the door they are required to care for him and feed him servers. This has indefinitely delayed the removal of server verification.

Application

Servers are able to apply at tf2classified.com/verification through a special portal where they give up the legal right to their servers' souls before being fed to Veri. However, this site temporarily goes up and down to help manage Veri's weight.

Links

• Verified server list
• Leaked bodycam footage of Eminoma and police attempting to remove Veri from their headquarters